The story of us.

Have you ever met someone and just clicked? More than butterflies and sweaty palms? That was us.

We met on a double date that was set up by mutual friends. Jared, his cousin and Nikki, my friend. We were both fresh out of a toxic and awful relationships just a few months before......he was a hardworking, quiet, kind guy and I was a single mama to an 18 month old who had sworn off men.

It was a bonfire in early August out at Buggy's Beach. I agreed to go and to meet this guy just to get Nikki to stop trying to set me up with people. I had sworn off relationships, remember? So I devised a plan to be the worst. Rude, crude, insulting.....just plain awful. And man did I show up that way. As the night ended and he walked me to my car he asked to see me again the next day. I was flabbergasted. What!? I replied with "Are you crazy? I was just awful! Like really awful! Why would you ever want to see me again?!" To which he replied "You aren't awful and you didn't scare me off. I want to see you again." Well shit. I said ok. We were basically inseparable from that moment on.

Our life together began fast and furious. We met in August, moved in together in September, engaged in October & married in November. Then found out we were expecting in December. It was utter chaos and we thrived.

Sean stepped into our life, choosing to become a husband and a father all in one fell swoop. He was our chosen family. He loved being a dad. And he loved the life we built.

We bought our first home as a family of 4. It was just what a first home should be - four walls to build memories and moments in. We had so many fun times and some of our hardest times in that first house. We became a family of 5 and quickly outgrew our first home.

So onto our next home with the best neighbors. That home also held so many memories. So many projects were done - boats, trucks, power wheels, you name it. That home held so much laughter and joy. It's the home where we added the final kiddo to our family. Mr. P was a surprise addition - vasectomy's are not 100% effective. While we hadn't planned it, neither one of us could ever imagine life any other way. We lived in that home for 2 more years until we had outgrown that one too.

Our final home is where we've had so many firsts - driving permits, proms, drivers licenses, first day of high school, first day of Kindergarten, first cars, first heartbreaks, first jobs, first goat hunts, first 401k, first solo traveling.....you get the idea. This home is where we grew the most individually and as a family. From projects in the garage to house projects at home or at grandmas, life was always busy. This was where we slowed down for pizza or game nights. Where we implemented family dinners and nightly walks. This was where we learned that quality time is what we will remember most.

We lived a lot of life in those years but I truly felt like these past two years were our best yet. There was an intentionality about the time spent together as a family. Sean took the boys adventuring in the boat or hiking & fishing. We did family vacations and trips to the family cabin. We celebrated our boys and Sean spent time in the garage with them working on projects that brought inside jokes & so many orders for car parts. I'm so very thankful for the time he was able to spend with each of our boys.

This year would have been our 20th wedding anniversary. That's 19 years longer than anyone thought we'd make it. That's almost half my life. We weren't perfect and we weren't free of struggle. We were committed to each other and our family. And at the very core of who we are we love one another. I won't speak in past tense about the love we share because it is a one in a million, once in a lifetime, one & done kind of love.

I am not sure I will ever understand why Sean had to leave us. In the midst of all this pain and anger and sadness I do know that I would not change our life one bit and that I'm so very thankful that he saw through my facade that first night.

Until we meet again. xoxoxox Sarah